Why?
by Gold Silk
Summary: Why did I betray everyone Remus? It was for you. Always for you." SLASH! onesided PPRL and hints of SBRL


Title: Why?  
  
_Disclaimer: Don't own them. Now, if Ms. Rowling was willing to sell, I'd buy them in a heartbeat_.

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> **Mine**. That is what he is. Mine.  
  
Hazy honey eyes blink blearily at me, sad, angry, and confused.  
  
"Why?" he whispers croakingly, and even with all the gashes and blood on his pale skin, he's still beautiful.  
  
And he's finally **mine**.  
  
Why? Such a simple word, but holds so much information. Why? Why had I betrayed my friends? Why had I allowed the murders of my so-called best friends.  
  
Indeed, the question is why.   
  
We're the last two of them, the Marauders. Two dead, one a traitor, and one all alone.   
  
He didn't have to be alone, not while I'm still here.  
  
But he never saw that, did he? He was too busy prancing around with another Marauder, paying no thought to me.  
  
He was the only one who cared, but it was never enough. He didn't see me as weak and pathetic, as the other two thought.  
  
He payed attention to me, cared for me, and was my friend, my only friend. But he was **only** that, a friend.  
  
I'm certainly no friend now. I ruined his life. **I** was the one who helped kill all the people who mattered to him. He now has no one.  
  
Except for me. So now he's mine. **I'm** the only one who cares for him, everyone else is dead.  
  
"Peter." he whispers through dry, chapped lips. He's shaking and his beautiful eyes are wet with tears. I've caused those tears.  
  
"Why?" I ask him. Now I'm the one who asks the question.   
  
"Why him? Why Sirius?"  
  
He looks at me sadly, amber eyes never leaving mine. "Because I love--d him. And he loved me."  
  
He answered so calmly, like we were back at Hogwarts, with no worries. I never sold my soul to Voldemort, and like I never betrayed our, his closest friends.  
  
That was Moony. Always the calm and rational one, even though he's currently bound with chains, naked on my bed.  
  
Love? He says that Sirius loved him. Bullshit! I saw the way his eyes wandered to other girls while they were going out. And I know Remus was aware of it too, because I remember seeing hurt eyes trailing Sirius.  
  
Ahh. Sirius. He was everything I wasn't. He was charming, talented, smart, beautiful, and loved by everyone. He had everything he ever wanted.   
  
Girls constantly swarmed him, most willing to sacrifice their first-born child to have Sirius even glance at them.  
  
He was popular, made friends easily with his perfect bright smile.   
  
He had his pick on anything. He was rich, so he bought anything he wanted.   
  
He was smart, he never had to study. He always passed with high grades.  
  
He was witty. Even when pranks were played on them, everyone admired and fell to his charms.  
  
He was beautiful, with a perfect complexion, gorgeous tanned skin, smoky grey eyes, long perfectly straight black hair, and full lips that every girl fantasized about.  
  
He could've picked anyone to date. He nearly had the whole school. He went through the girls like water; a new girl weekly.   
  
I always was jealous of him, but I also always admired him. It was until he finally decided to settle down and become serious with someone, that was when I hated him.  
  
Out of everyone in the whole school, he had to pick the one that **I** wanted.   
  
With a simple smile, he had everything **I** yearned for for five years.  
  
He had Remus.  
  
Why? Why did he choose Remus? Many were oblivious to Remus' beauty, except for me, but he saw it too.  
  
Remus was such a beautiful boy. Thin, willowy figure, with a fragile face. Innocent amber eyes framed with long lashes, thin cherry-coloured lips, and a special smile reserved for only his true friends.  
  
Such a beautiful smile. It was so rare, but when he smiled, his face lit up with happiness, his eyes filled with mirth, and easily visible sharp canine teeth shown.  
  
He smiled more when Sirius was with him.  
  
**I hate Sirius.  
**  
He had everything, but he took it for granted. He had Remus' love, and he didn't realize how lucky he was to have it.  
  
**I hate him.**  
  
Sirius betrayed Remus. Back in Fifth year, two months after they started dating. He told Snape about Remus' lycanthropy.  
  
I was furious, but I didn't show it. I was harmless Peter, the boy who no one payed attention to, the boy who people looked over. I was supposed to be sweet and loving.  
  
For Remus, I was.  
  
I remember the pain-filled eyes when he heard what Sirius did. I remember him crying.  
  
I was also ecstatic. Sirius screwed up his chance, and now I finally had mine. I comforted him through his period of grief. I would never betray his trust like Sirius had.  
  
I love him too much.  
  
But what happens after a week? Remus is back in Sirius' arms. Sirius betrayed him, but it didn't matter, he got Remus back.  
  
Lucky bastard.  
  
After Hogwarts, I received the Dark Mark. I could finally prove my worth. Finally show Sirius how he ruined my life. I could finally have Remus.  
  
I became lustful with the power, and then I had enough power to make my dream into reality.  
  
I could finally have revenge, then claim my prize.  
  
Everyone was suspicious of each other. There was a traitor, but who was it? No one thought it could be innocent little Peter Pettigrew, the boy afraid of his own shadow. He's too cowardly to serve the Dark Side.  
  
Bullshit.  
  
Sirius immediately suspected Remus. Idiot. Remus betraying the only people who cared for him was highly doubtful. Anyone could've seen that it couldn't possibly be Remus.  
  
But Sirius did. And I'm grateful for that. He broke Remus' heart, and I'll be the one who repiared it.  
  
But of course, nothing ever works my way. Especially when little Harry Potter brought the downfall of my lord.  
  
But I was happy. Sirius was in Azkaban, slowly becoming insane for a crime he didn't commit. I loved it.  
  
The downside was that I couldn't see Remus for twelve years, since I was thoguht to be dead. I wonder how Remus felt when he heard I died. Was he overcome with grief?  
  
Did he finally see me as the hero I wanted him to think I was?  
  
Maybe, but of course, whatever he felt shattered when he found out I betrayed the Potters.  
  
And now Black is dead. I finally got what I wanted. I **finally** have Remus.   
  
I wanted him to love me, to be happy in my arms, and to gaze at me tenderly while we make love.  
  
But that doesn't matter anymore. At least I have him. I finally have him.  
  
He's beautiful in bed. I chained him and made him scream so loudly. I was in control. I am the master.  
  
He's beautiful when he bleeds too. Screaming and begging me to stop.  
  
But I'll never stop. Not when I've waited for so long.  
  
"Why did I betray everyone Remus? It was for you. Always for you."
> 
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> 
> _Author's Note: Okay, okay. I wrote this to get rid of my writer's block. I have been really lazy for not updating on my other fic, Haunted Eyes, and I'm sorry for that._


End file.
